Don’t Take It Personally: The Importance of Rational Detachment in Human Services Settings

Often in human services-oriented roles, you may find yourself working with clients who exhibit challenging behavior. It's important to remain calm and composed during and after these interactions, not taking the client's behavior personally. At CPI, we refer to this as Rational Detachment. It is critical for the safety and well-being of everyone, as well as for maintaining a healthy staff-client relationship.

Failing to practice Rational Detachment may lead to defensive and argumentative reactions, potentially escalating the situation. Our goal in these scenarios is to contribute to the solution rather than exacerbate the problem. The following strategies will help you practice Rational Detachment when confronted by challenging behavior.

1. Have a Plan

Remember to have a plan ready for how to respond to common outbursts during client interactions. Practice remaining calm and responding professionally by imagining yourself in a situation with a difficult person and reacting as you would in real life. This form of visualization is commonly used in sports, where athletes imagine themselves performing perfectly during the game. Practice these scenarios with a colleague to role-play diverse confrontations and build your confidence in rationally detaching.

2. Use Positive Self-Talk

Another way to detach rationally is to use positive self-talk. We may not be the true target of someone’s hostile behavior and a colleague could have received the same outburst. Tell yourself, “This may not be about the two of us; it may be about other issues in their life.” Or repeat to yourself, "I'm going to remain calm and respectful. The only behavior I can control is my own."

3. Consider Precipitating Factors

Ask questions and take notice of potential Precipitating Factors—the internal or external causes of behavior over which we have little or no control—that could be at play. These may include issues at home or unexpected circumstances, such as a car breaking down on the way to work—anything that may lead to a person behaving irrationally or lashing out uncharacteristically.

Carefully considering what may have led up to the challenging behavior can help you detach yourself from what your client is saying or doing, so that you can keep your focus on support and de-escalation.

4. Release Negative Energy

After a conflict, it's important to find healthy ways to let go of the negative feelings. This can include:

• Taking a quiet break
• Going for a walk
• Calling someone who can reinforce your positive self-talk
• Taking a drive and listening to music
• Writing about your experiences in a journal

Support Your Clients and Preserve Your Well‑Being

Working with clients who display challenging behavior is an inherent part of many human services roles. Practicing Rational Detachment is crucial for maintaining a supportive and safe environment for both clients and staff. By having a plan, using positive self-talk, considering Precipitating Factors, and releasing negative energy, you can effectively manage and defuse tense situations. By consistently applying these techniques, you enhance your ability to support clients effectively while preserving your own well-being.

Additional Resources for Optimal Client Support

Explore our additional resources to help human services roles provide quality of care to clients:

• Trauma-Informed Care
• Top 10 De-escalation Tips
• Seven Tips for Effective Verbal Intervention